Personal achievements and failures, 2016 summary.

Past year have been tough on me. Many things happened and much more didn’t. It was a real tour de force. Despite hard times I have managed to “survive” quite well during this period. I had some personal satisfaction as well as some displeasures.

5 big achievements:

– do not rush so much, not any more (thanks to nursery! Yay!)

– happy kid

– developed more patience and self-control

– maintained positive mindset

– learned new programming for websites

5 big failures:

– lack of job

– neglected my health

– did not care of myself (beauty and physical form)

– not trying, not pushing enough

inable to silence a fierce inner critic

For the upcoming year I am looking to achieve more tomorrow than I did today and I am striving to improve myself all the time.

Happy 2017!

tvcu6v-icsi-kazuend

photo by Kazuend

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Italian babies 

Advantages and disadvantages of having a baby in Italy.While pregnant I did some research about pros and cons of having a baby in different EU members. We were considering different possible places to live.

Some countries are better than others, in some ways, and there is no perfect place anyway.

Let’s talk about Italy. What I like about Italy are warm people, joy of life, baby fashion, Mediterranean food, sunny days, surrounding history, art and beauty everywhere.

The national health service is decent quality but overloaded. At least at north.

We did not much research about school as we think our baby will attend in different country. (We travel a lot.)

There are also some issues that are less positive abut having a baby in Italy. The diapers, formula and medicines are exaggeratedly expensive. I bought some disposable diapers online, from abroad, and they costed much less including a delivery fee. This is crazy.

This country is so magical. It could be an interesting experience for a baby to grow up here, but then unfortunately he will struggle as an adult. It’s complicated country. Very nice to stay for holiday, but quite intricate to live in.

We did not decide yet to move out as we are still waiting to see how the things are going to be and then we will decide.

Christmas is coming. Italy is a catholic country. This holidays are lived very intensely here. Every person is preparing for them. Today we went shopping to the local supermarket. It was full of people hunting for some great deals, buying literally every thing possible. Such consuming behaviour!

We bought enough for a week living for our family and had a full trolley and we were the ones with less stuff on it.

I understand that the holiday is important but, according to me, there is no reason to grab every possible thing. I prefer to receive a gift that is useful to me and do not like to waste the cash on something that is not going to be used.

The right gift for the right person = money well spent.

Newborn needs

Two years ago, at this time I was home with an enormous belly, swollen ancles, backache, leg cramps, indigestion and insomnia. I was expecting my first (and hopefully not last) baby. 

I remember that I tried to figure out what to buy in order to be prepared for the baby. When you are first time mom-to-be you are getting overwhelmed with the “necessary stuff” someone is trying to sell for your baby. 

Few days ago I went to the local baby-store, and I saw some inexperienced pregnant girl buying things she is never going to use…

The truth is that newborns do not need all this fancy, bouncy, squeaky stuff. They need a mammy, few clothes and some diapers. That’s it. 

You can always buy something you need when you really need it later on. That was my personal philosophy. I bought 6 bodies, 6 jumpsuits, a pram/stroller, a car seat and a baby cot. That’s all! The rest wasn’t necessary. We never needed a baby walker or a baby bouncer for example. Do you really need a baby monitor? 

If you consider our generation, our mothers did not have all this fancy equipment and we have grown up well. 

Good cop bad cop

Sometimes parents are falling into this trap: being good cop or bad cop. This means taking opposing roles in dealing with children.

A loving and understanding mom in the role of “good” and the rigid and authoritarian father in the role of the “bad”.

It used to work in the past. Every parent had the role he/she wanted: a mother who used to stay at home created a special link with her children and a father that got back home after a long day at work appeared authoritative.

Now it’s a huge mistake. Why?

Because in the long run it impoverishes family relationships. Authoritative parent keeps distance and an understanding one cannot be respected enough.

What is the alternative?

Both parents act as one team. If one says “No”, the other confirms. And no one cracks under child’s pressure, no matter how he or she protests. Both parents result loving and authoritative enough.